Dating is a delicate matter, and no date is more sensitive than a first date, the date on which first impressions count and on which relationships are made or simply don’t start. Balance the compassionate ability to make allowances for nerves with confidence in your own inner voice and be alert for certain danger signs that are first date deal breakers. You future happiness could depend on it.
# 1 Punctuality
Freudian psychotherapists pay a lot of attention to punctuality. They regard it as a sign of commitment to the therapeutic relationship. This applies equally to first dates. If your date is late, it is OK to wonder whether they really want to be there. Listen to your gut and weigh up the other evidence.
#2 Wearing all the wrong clothes
We’re not trying to be fashion fascists here – just asking whether your date has made an effort with their appearance. Interest in one’s own appearance is a healthy sign of self-esteem and is therefore an important indicator of future relationship success. If your date turns up in a muddy shell suit try eHarmony professional dating instead.
# 3 Talking about the ex
A first date is all about being curious about what makes each other tick and, if the date is going well, how to guarantee a second date. A passing reference to an ex might be acceptable, but if one person volunteers a long affectionate description or a lengthy character assassination of their ex then they are saying more about themselves and the fact that they’re not yet ready for a new relationship. Equally, if the other person is excessively interested in knowing all about the other’s ex then this could be a warning sign of jealousy and possessiveness ahead. Stop right there.
#4 Bad humour
Corny jokes and bad chat up lines are an almost inevitable part of first dates, and may even be an endearing sign of nerves and a desire to please. But bad temper, fault-finding or anger on a first date warn of a personality type lacking in empathy and a potentially abusive partner. Get your coat now!
#5 Money
When it comes to dating UK couples often find money to be a slightly awkward issue. Keeping a first date low-key will help to diffuse money issues. Be aware if money is a conspicuous factor on a first date. He could be hesitant about paying because he’s concerned not to undermine your independence or because he’s mean. Equally, a balanced approach should be taken to a date who flashes the cash – try to value the real person but be ready to run a mile from the control freak who is trying to buy love.
